She said her name was "party"
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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