stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
