ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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