are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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