watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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