He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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