on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
