I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize