i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
