the condom got lost in my hair
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
