we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
