Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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