I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
