Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
