Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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