Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
