I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
