she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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