If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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