youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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