i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize