i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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