I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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