So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
