Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
