i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
