I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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