actually, I'm a sock model
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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