Kareoke will never be a sober sport
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
