we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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