After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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