garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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