I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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