I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
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There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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