I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
