So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
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She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize