You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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