I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
