It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
