I just pynch a tree in the face
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
