I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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