I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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