Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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