I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't think brook has ever known best
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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