You made me cry and you don't even care
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
