Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
