Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
