i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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