dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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