i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime