Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.