WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.