Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?