After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He called his dick the "gentle giant"