She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt