I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
