I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
