Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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