spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
